before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
