when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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