This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
