no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
