Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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