6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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