That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
