there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You are the jesus of drinking
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
