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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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