We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
