Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just found puke in my bra..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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