I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
home. puking in laundry basket.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
