3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
