dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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