it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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