He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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