If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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