You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
