Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
