anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
