Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
