it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
