How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
