btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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