Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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