u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
