First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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