the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
