If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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