We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
