What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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