Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
