I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
