Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I believe in your delicious
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
