i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
