8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize