my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
