How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
