i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
