i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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