Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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