I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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