Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
