She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
