Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
