Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
