Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
