Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
