If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
should my penis look like a turkey
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
