Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i think i have two assholes
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
