I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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